Monday, August 13, 2012

Ultrasounds and Aftereffects: Or, We're Having a ...

Anything happens to my daughter, I have a .45 and a shovel, and I doubt anyone would miss you.  
-Sir Laurence Olivier 
Okay, so the above quote actually came from Clueless in 1995, but attributing them to Sir Laurence gives it a bit more gravitas.  When Dan Hedaya said those words 17 years ago I really never thought that I would find a use for them at any point in my life.

Then, came the ultrasound.

If you haven't pieced it together just yet, I'll give you a second.



We're having a girl.

First, let me say that I'm thrilled, stoked and otherwise elated to be having a girl.  In fact, when the ultrasound technician said that we were having a girl I was practically puking rainbows:

Artist's rendition of the aforementioned moment.

Amazing.  Literally the definition of awesome.  

At the hospital we went to for the prenatal imaging had a 4-D machine as well, so you could watch the baby as she (still weird to type s-h-e) moved around.  While I don't have actual footage of the dancing, it did look something like this:

He's gonna party like it's 1996.
But sans diaper.

In all honesty, the 4D stuff is a little creepy.  You aren't used to seeing anything like it.  Well, you might be, but it's generally reserved for health class videos and intro segments to the Look Who's Talking movies.

The more classic ultrasound pics are much cuter --

I'd type something witty, but I'm still puking rainbows.

It really wasn't until the car ride home that it hit me.  In the course of 45 minutes we went from a gender-neutral concept of what our baby might be to knowing she  is going to be a girl.  And my whole world is going to change.

I've been told that I can have a slight tendency to be a bit protective...

This is what I've been told I look like when witnessing someone hit on my wife:

Artist's rendering

Not to be confused with this:
He's not really that angry.

But I can only imagine what I'm going to be like around my little girl.  I do hope to never need to invoke those immortal words of Sir Laurence Olivier Dan Hedaya, but I have started researching my 2nd Amendment Rights.  So I'm sure that's a rational, even-tempered start to this whole thing.

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